Lie #1: “Something Else Will Make Me Happy”

The First Chapter

In Rachel Hollis’ book, Girl, wash your face, she describes twenty lies that we tend to tell ourselves.  The first one is that “something else will make us happy”.  I completely agree with her, on the fact that social media can make us feel that our lives are not nearly as “good” or “fun” as our friends’ lives are.

The truth is, most people usually only post the good and the fun.  They are embarrassed to reveal all of the messy parts of their lives.  We get to hear about the fun exotic trip they took with their friends or partner, the competition that their child won, or their parents’ 50th Anniversary celebration.  We don’t see the eye rolls they gave their boss that day, the horrible fight they just had with their partner, or the many tears they have shed over inner battles.

I Am Not Perfect

Society can make us feel that we have to be “perfect”.  Our life, our children our career are all supposed to be perfect!  When these things aren’t perfect we tend to give up.  Guess what?  I AM NOT PERFECT!  I have made so many mistakes in my life that I don’t even know where to begin.  I have failed marriages, yelled at my children, skipped my workouts for days on end, and even had M&M’s and a bottle of red wine for dinner.  Shocking I know.  The clean eating fitness buff has weak moments.

For years I beat myself up over the fact that my children did not grow up in a “normal” household of both Mom and Dad together.  But….is that really normal? I then realized that normal to them is a loving parent, time together, seeing me be strong as a mother and a woman….and seeing me fail, but get back up fighting.  That’s normal to them, and to me.  We are anything but perfect, but we are happy.

Stop Doing These Things

1-Stop comparing your life to someone else’s.  Comparison will kill your soul.  This is YOUR life and YOUR journey.  Focus on yourself, not someone else.  Through journaling I have found that I kind of like my life.  Actually I love it, flaws and all.  It’s not perfect and I don’t ever want it to be.  I want to live the ups and downs, and continue growing from them.

2-Stop allowing negativity into your life. Positivity makes a difference.  If you swim in a sea of positivity, things begin to look differently.  When I started looking for gratitude in every situation, I felt so much better.  Sometimes it was REALLY difficult to find a positive but I did.  I unfollowed things and people on social media that brought negativity into my view.  I searched for more books, blogs and YouTube channels that were filled with positivity.  If I can do it, you can too.

3-Stop doing the things you don’t truly want to do.  I used to volunteer for my children’s parties and things at school when they were little.  I used to help friends paint their living room, or sew their clothes for them.  Guess what???  Those things did NOT make me happy.  In fact I dreaded them!  (Insert the not so perfect mom and friend.)  Now I do things that contribute to MY happiness.  I take my daughters on dates.  We actually get to spend time together! I meet my friends for coffee or dinner.  We actually have conversation and laughter! Sometimes we even share tears, because we can.

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