Have you ever had a relationship with someone who you were enthralled with? Someone who you thought was the perfect ending, only to end up being your personal demise? Rachel Hollis has this exact experience laid out in Girl, wash your face.
As much as I am embarrassed to admit it….I was there.
In The Beginning
We all know how it goes. You meet someone new. You’re instantly smitten with everything about them. The two of you spend endless hours talking of your hopes and dreams. You have exciting adventures together!
I had one of these. The closer we become, the more the outside world began to fade away. All that mattered to either of us was spending time together. All we could think of and focus on was building our happy ending. It was fast and magical….so I thought.
Reality Moves In
After the “honeymoon phase” begins to wear off, you settle into a routine. A routine that you think is NORMAL. One where you jump when they say “jump”! One where your every decision revolves around THEIR happiness.
I did it. I took on new interests and hobbies. HIS hobbies. To this day I’m still not sure if I enjoyed them or not. But I did them….because he expected me to. I thought it was normal. Normal….Hahahah. Now that’s a strange word. What IS normal? Now I know what it is NOT! Normal is not pushing your friends away because you’re expected to spend all of your time with him. Normal is not having to check in with him constantly to report your whereabouts and doings. It’s just not.
Wow…I had no idea I was allowing this to happen to me until it was over. Most of us don’t. We think it’s NORMAL. It’s just not.
Once I was outside looking in, I was able to see all that I had lost simply because I wanted to please him. My friends, closeness with my family, time with my children….all took a backseat. Your partner should be someone who wants you to be happy and support you. They should be comfortable with each of you having some of your own interests. I know that now.
How I Healed
I learned to love myself. It wasn’t easy. I had looked to him to make me happy for so many years. How was I supposed to make MYSELF happy???
I learned meditation and journaling. Praying and reflecting. I strive to do it daily. I don’t always accomplish that, but give it my best! It allows me to reconnect with my thoughts, my dreams, my inner peace.
I read and listened to numerous books and videos. Learning to love yourself may be the toughest thing you do. It can be painful. But I’m the end it is filled with amazing experiences!
I realized that no person or thing can make me happy. Only I can make me happy. Wow!!! To realize I have had that power all along? Amazing.
You have the power too! Go!!! Make yourself happy.
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